1.     Taboo Plaza

 

Drinking and driving should not be illegal.

Why, may you ask?

The act of drinking alcoholic beverages is legal for anyone in the United States over the age of 18 years old.  The act of driving in the U.S. is legal for anyone over the age of 16 years old.  At the age of 18 you are expected to be responsible for your own actions.

Many people drive home from bars without getting arrested or getting into accidents.  Many people in bars drink without falling down.  Many drinkers drive home without any negative incidents occurring.

It should not be illegal to go to a legal place and engage in a legal activity.  Drinking and driving constitutes a serious double standard in our society.

Is it wise to drink and drive?  No.

But the question really should be why isn’t it wise to drink and drive?

The answer is that reflexes are hampered under the use of alcohol.  That doesn’t mean however, that hampered means deadened.  A drunk can still react as much as a drunk is paying attention.  If you pay close attention while driving when drunk, you’ll have very little problem driving home without killing someone. 

Kill someone while driving intoxicated and you have committed a crime.

The crime of drunk driving is an act that seems to draw too close a correlation between drunk driving and horrible accidents.

Do drunk drivers cause horrible accidents?  Sure.

Do non-drunk drivers cause horrible accidents?  Absolutely!

There should be no law that condemns you for what you did not do.  If you drive home drunk and make it home with no horrible consequences should you feel guilty?

I don’t think so.

Punish the people for crimes that they commit.  Do not try to protect people from themselves by creating laws that premeditate the execution of a crime.

The next thing you know, you won’t be able to buy a gun.

The rationale is very similar, because if you look at the statistics there is a close correlation between people who committed murder with a gun and the fact that they owned a gun.  Therefore, if it is illegal to buy a gun then people won’t commit murder with a gun.

This logic can be played out for an eternity and all we end up with is people dying anyway.

Legalize drinking and driving.

 

2.     Current Affairs

 

It’s good that the Democrats took office, now it will more clear than ever that the two parties share the same goals. 

The fact alone that the Democratic House of Representative members would allow Bush his Q&A in private truly shows how little the American people factor into the equation.  President Bush has been allowed to enter few events- during his entire presidency- in which anyone can ask him tough questions.  He’s been allowed to set up town hall meetings with pre-approved guests.  He’s been allowed to posture and act in front of crowds of his own choosing without truly hearing and seeing the faces of those who would oppose him.  President Bush has been allowed to build walls around himself that shelter him from America. 

The Democrats now have further abetted him in his insularity. 

Long live democracy and the powerlessness of the people!

 

The governor of Texas has just made a grand stand play which may affect how you view your medical condition in the future.  Texas Governor Rick Perry instituted an executive order that starting in 2008 all sixth-grade Texan girls will need to get vaccinated for cervical cancer.  If you want to have a sixth-grade girl in Texas and not pay Merck & Co $360, then you need to develop a religious or philosophical position as to why you won’t have your daughter inoculated.  Not only will you need to develop a position, but you will also need to write it down on an affidavit.

It’s nice to know that the state is looking out for us by force the prescription of a new drug with 5 years of research history. 

Fine print be damned.  Yes you may have a stroke and yes your blood may clot; but you’ll only have a 30% chance of getting cervical cancer.  As far as we know.  Now shut up, get in line and roll up your sleeve. 

Drug companies need government subsidies too.

 

3.     Then Humans Discovered…(the continuing saga of Krunk. Part 3)

 

Continued from January 21^st post.

Krunk made it back to the group that evening.  The flame still lived on the tree branch he held now far above his head. 

Krunk stared at the branch while walking back.  He burned himself twice and singed the hair on his head once.  Krunk never felt the heat as little flames circled his head, but the smell made him dry heave for several minutes in a dense wooded area. 

When he cleared the woods and entered the Group’s clearing he did not expect the welcome he received.  The women and children jumped up, screamed and then ran away.  The sleeping men arouse quickly, moved aggressively toward him before their eyes were opened and then cowered away at the sight of his flame.

Krunk stopped frozen by the reaction of the Group.  Krunk was not the largest in the Group.  Krunk was not the strongest in the Group.  He could however outrun most of them and hide rather well.

Those qualities, and no others, spoke to the success of Krunk’s survival in this Group.

On the day Krunk brought home the flame, he saw the Group react to him in a new way.  Groon, the Group leader, approached Krunk cautiously.  He reached out for the tree branch and Krunk reacted instinctively.  Krunk pulled his arm away quickly and then over-compensated by bringing the flame forward toward Groon.

Groon jumped away from the flame and ran away to join the Group.  They watched from a distance as Krunk reentered the Camp.  Remembering his hunger, after the mushrooms, Krunk went over to the berries lying on the ground and began to eat.  He set the flame down next to the pile and ate until the flame extinguished itself beside him.

 

4.     Getting to Know Your Government

 

Last week’s batch of Senators averaged 21.5 years time in public service as U.S. Senators. This week’s batch of Senators average 3.5 years time in public service as U.S. Senators.

 

Bill Nelson (Democrat, Florida)

·        Religion: Episcopalian

·        1965:  Yale University, BA

·        1968: University of Virginia, JD

·        1972 to 1979: Florida House of Representatives

·        1979 to 1991: U.S. House of Representatives

o       1988: Flew aboard Space Shuttle Columbia

·        1995 to 2000:  Treasurer and Insurance Commissioner of Florida

·        2001- present: U.S. Senator

 

Mel Martinez (Republican, Florida)

·        Religion: Roman Catholic

·        1973: Florida State University College of Law

·        2001 to 2003: U.S. Secretary of Housing and Urban Development

·        2005 to present: U.S. Senator

 

Saxby Chambliss (Republican, Georgia)

·        Religion: Episcopalian

·        1966: University of Georgia

·        1968: University of Tennessee, JD

·        1995 to 2003: U.S. House of Representatives

·        2003 to present: U.S. Senator

 

Johnny Isakson (Republican, Georgia)

·        Religion: United Methodist

·        1966: University of Georgia, B.B.A

·        1977 to 1990: Georgia House of Representatives

·        1993 to 1997: Georgia Senator

·        1999- 2005: U.S. House of Representatives

·        2005- present: U.S. Senator

 

5.     Our Nation is Now Dumber for This…Thank You for Your Participation!

 

No further discussion should be necessary.

 

6.     Down On Rage Street

 

Van Halen use to be one of the coolest bands around.  If you doubt me, pick up this album immediately and come back to this article after you’ve spun it a couple of times.

As I was saying, Van Halen…one of the coolest bands….ever. 

The problem is that they have a douche bag for a guitar player. 

Don’t get me wrong.  He is a fantastic guitar player. 

It’s just that he’s a douche bag.

For the longest period of time he didn’t want anything to do with David Lee Roth.  They haven’t toured since 1984 and other than a brief glimmer of hope in 1996 they haven’t had anything to do with one another since. 

Now David Lee Roth is back to tour with Van Halen.  About 20 years too late I might add. 

This seems like it would be really good news.  Eddie Van Halen has been quoted as saying, “I am very excited to get back to the core of what made Van Halen.”

The problem?

Eddie’s son Wolfgang is replacing original bassist Michael Anthony on this tour.  It is unclear if there was a disagreement or whether Michael left of his own accord.  One thing is clear though. 

Wolfgang Van Halen is not at “the core of what made Van Halen.”

Michael Anthony seems to be taking it well since he still has links to the Van Halen website through his own website.  At the same time, he is also selling BBQ sauce on his website.

Has it gotten that bad for Michael Anthony? 

Who really cares, I suppose.  It’s not as if he was ever a household term or anything.  Nonetheless, Van Halen was four, possibly five, guys (depending on how you look at it- Van Hagar anyone?): David, Eddie, Alex, Michael and sometimes Sammy. 

I hope that allowing Wolfgang to take Michael’s place makes Eddie a better father, because he really seems to be a douche bag of a band leader.

 

7.     My Butthole Bleeds for You…Really….It Does

 

Microsoft Vista gives birth to the next wave of hacker’s language. 

Don’t leave your speakers turned up with your microphone plugged in and your speech recognition software configured or you’ll get shout hacked. 

The moral to the story? 

If you build something with so much publicity and then make an absolute statement about your product (something like say, ‘the most secure system we’ve ever developed’) you’ve just painted a red bulls-eye on your product.

The real question here is: how long will it take a hacker to force Microsoft into releasing a security update for Vista.

 

 

8.     Tip of the week

 

Let your voice be heard. 

If you have a concern, express it. 

What is the worse that will happen?  Everything in this life is artificial and fleeting. 

Why live in fear that you may be wrong?  If you are wrong, so be it. 

Express yourself, listen to the reaction and if necessary adjust your belief from time to time. 

You will never know you’re wrong until you’ve expressed a belief.  You will never fix a problem, until you’ve offered a solution.

 

9.     Birthday Shout Outs (1-28 to 2-3)

 

·        (1/28/1936) Alan Alda- Not necessarily the best Hawkeye on M.A.S.H., but he did an admirable Groucho Marx impersonation.  Until Trapper John left and then the show took a nose dive.

·        (1/29/1843) William McKinley- The 25^th President of the United States of America.

·         (1/30/1882) Franklin D. Roosevelt- The 32^nd President of the United States of America.

·        (1/30/1930) Gene Hackman- Not only was he Lex Luthor; he was also in Young Frankenstein.  This guy has worked.

·         (1/30/1947) Steve Marriott- Lead vocalist for Humble Pie.

·        (1/30/1951) Phil Collins- Like him or hate him, he’s managed a hell of a career.

·        (1/31/1872) Zane Grey- A prolific writer is nothing less than spectacular regardless of genre.

·        (1/31/1919) Jackie Robinson- Walk a mile in this guy’s shoes and then complain about traffic in the morning.

·        (1/31/1946) Terry Kath- Lead guitarist for Chicago.

·        (1/31/1981) Justin Timberlake- He’s lucky he got busy after N Sync, because if he didn’t he’d still be a big fag.

·        (2/1/1902) Langston Hughes- More of his work should be required reading in public education.

·        (2/1/1937) Garrett Morris- A Saturday Night Live original and funny as hell.  I couldn’t find anything good for Garrett so I wrote the douche bag reference in the Down on Rage Street snip in honor of Garret’s “Lord and Lady Douche Bag” skit.

·         (2/1/1948) Rick James- He’s been completely overshadowed by Dave Chapelle and Charlie Murphy, but theirs is a tribute to keep his memory fresh.

·        (2/1/1968) Pauly Shore- He proved that even a retard can be mildly entertaining.

·        (2/1/1975) Big Boi- He’s one half of Outkast.  Keep on funking brother.

·        (2/2/1882) James Joyce- He proved you don’t have to write clearly to become famous.

·         (2/2/1942) Graham Nash- He was a leading member in the Hollies and Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.  

·        (2/2/1947) Farah Fawcett- The first of several hot chicks born on this day.

·        (2/2/1954) Christie Brinkley- The second of several hot chicks born on this day.

·        (2/2/1977) Shakira- Does this chick sing?  I hadn’t noticed.

·         (2/3/1926) Shelley Berman- A comedian from way back in the day.

·         (2/3/1947) Dave Davies- Singer and guitarist for the Kinks.

·        (2/3/1960) Kerry Von Erich- A professional wrestler from a big Texas wrestling family.  A very tragic family indeed.