1.     Taboo Plaza
The beat goes on with the Random Pattern in full effect. 

2.     Current Affairs

Halliburton found a sweeter deal.  They will be moving their corporate offices to Dubai.  And there you have it, all that we’ve done for Halliburton and they just cut out like this.

It’s kind of funny how a place you’ve never heard of, suddenly lands in the public’s scope of attention too.  All of the sudden Dubai is the hotspot on the planet.  You may well remember that Dubai is the point of origin of the company first given contract to run the New York Port Authority.

Halliburton apparently is falling on hard times though.  They only made an estimated $2.3 billion last year.  That’s including a 40% decline in profits for the 4th quarter.  It must be difficult to pull in astronomical profits when scrutiny and war go hand in hand.

How can they be expected to run a company under such conditions? 

They’ve got to think of something; be it a tax break or moving closer to where a good portion of their business takes place.  Between the war contracts in Iraq, their oil production in Saudi Arabia and congressional investigations here; I think we’ll hear more about Halliburton in the next couple of years.

Barak Obama is still in the presidential race and Joe Biden is not worried.  That’s good too, since there’s really not much interesting press on old Joe anyway.

He must not have very high expectations though.

Barak is getting two kinds of press these days.  He’s either the target of high school name calling that makes Ann Coulter seem sophisticated or he is attracting attention in the streets talking among the people.

Hillary on the other hand is drawing a lot of negative press.  Fox News is making sure she can be heard speaking in a black southern drawl in Selma, AL.  She just can’t seem to gain any ground unless she chooses to ignore Barak. 

Without Obama in the primary picture, she looks really good from far (but far from good.)  Nonetheless there are a few sources still trying to put a positive spin on her run for the presidency.  At the very least, she can be glad she’s not pulling up boring headlines like old Joe hanging out in Iowa stressing the importance of foreign policy.

The question I’d have to ask the Biden campaign is: who gets elected running on a foreign policy platform? 

The foreign policy involved in getting elected next year is real simple: Get out of Iraq.  That’s all you have to say, because that’s what the majority of Americans want to hear.

3.     Then Humans Discovered… (The Descendant’s of Harn)
Continued from March 4th post.

As time will attest the movers of paradigms live few and far between.  More commonly, “great” leaders inhabit the Earth twisting that which came before to their advantage.  The same could be said for Krunk and Harn. 

Krunk shifted the paradigm by eating the mushrooms and carrying fire to The Group.  Krunk changed the nature of leadership.  Krunk bore out another great truth attested by time: the shifters of paradigm don’t live very long.

It is the next in line who benefits most from shifting views of reality.  Harn benefited by Krunk’s actions.  Harn demonstrated original capacities, but nothing as innovative as controlling fire.  Harn taught how to care for the dead.  Harn taught the proper attitude in the presence of a great deity.  Harn added creativity and fear into the world. 

Krunk shifted reality.

Following Harn lived Droog.  Droog carried on the life of Harn.  He invoked Harn’s name in revered grunts.  Harn first brought on the shackles of reverence for those who lived before.  Harn also helped create the first schism.

There were those in The Group who remembered Krunk and believed that Krunk brought about the Great Awakening. 

Although none were yet capable of expressing such complex thoughts, what emerged were face-to-face aggressions with one segment of The Group shouting “Krunk” and the other shouting “Harn.”

Telos shouted the name Krunk the loudest.  Telos felt betrayed by the rule of Droog.  Telos developed a following and plotted an uprising.  Because Telos’ group was small, it didn’t take long for Droog’s followers to dispatch Telos’ group into the wilderness. 

Telos led the First Diaspora in this fashion.

Vitro followed Droog and lived for 40 years.   Jasper followed Vitro.  Bitter lived for 50 years after Jasper; who was then succeeded by Mirn.

In all of these years nothing new came about.  The leaders of The Group primarily continued to dominate by the blunt strike.  These people all lived in a fashion very similar to that laid out by Harn.  Fire did not fit into the picture, but they did continue to return their dead to the Earth Womb in the name of Harn.

It would be a long while before the name of Krunk was invoked again in his Promethean Project to bring fire to the humans.

4.     Getting to Know Your Government
Last week’s batch of Senators averaged 10. 5 years in public office as U.S. Senators. This week’s batch of Senators average 10.5 years as U.S. Senators. 

Olympia Snow (Republican, Maine)

·        Religion: Greek Orthodox

·        1969: University of Maine, B.A.

·        1973 to 1976: Maine House of Representatives

·        1976 to 1978: Maine State Senate

·        1979 to 1995: U.S. House of Representatives

·        1995 to present: U.S. Senate

Susan Collins (Republican, Maine)

·        Religion: Roman Catholic

·        1975: St. Lawrence University

·        1997 to present: U.S. Senate

Barbara Mikulski (Democrat, Maryland)

·        Religion: Roman Catholic

·        1958: Mount St. Agnes College

·        1965: University of Maryland, M.A.

·        1971 to 1976: Baltimore City Council

·        1977 to 1987: U.S. House of Representatives

·        1987 to present: U.S. Senate

Ben Cardin (Democrat, Maryland)

·        Religion: Judaism

·        1964: University of Pittsburgh, B.A.

·        1985: University of Maryland School of Law, J.D.

·        1967 to 1986: Maryland House of Delegates

·        1987 to 2007: U.S. House of Representatives

·        2007 to present: U.S. Senator

5.     Our Nation is Now Dumber for This…Thank You for Your Participation!
The beat goes on with the Random Pattern in full effect.

6.     Down On Rage Street 

Jenna Bush reportedly has a book deal in the works for an estimated $300K.  Life must be pretty good for her.  She’s gone from being drunk to being implicated for showing her poo-nannie to now being a philanthropist. 

I’m not sure if that is really her calling? 

But if so, I’m surprised the media hasn’t thrown this chum on the waters yet.  If it is her, you can bet daddy had that story buried. 

If only Britney’s daddy was President of the U.S. ya’ll.  Then she’d probably be writing a book and stuff. 

She could be a philanthropist too ya’ll. 

7.     My Butthole Bleeds for You…Really….It Does 

What are you to do when a Yankee Warlock brings down the Bad Mojo upon your sacred ruins?

It’ll take a lot to get his attention when his agenda is packed this tight.  There’s not much depth to the interactions taking place at each stop.  After the first three “important” stops along the Central American Magical Mystery Tour, George W. will blank out like a cheap cassette massaged by a magnet. 

So what are the Mayans to do?

Apparently the first course of business is to invite him in for a feast and a bit of dancing.  As the coup de grace: you set things on fire and chant a bit.

This is really a bit ridiculous on several levels.  I’m no Bush fan, but I’m relatively sure he is not a demon sorcerer.  If the Iximche ruins have not been visited by a murderer or child molester in the past several months without the priests’ knowledge then I would be surprised.

Is Bush really that bad? 

Or is this just a chance to get some press?

The media at home completely plays into the cheap opportunity to seemingly slam Bush for being inherently corrupt and evil, rather than talking about the reason why there is so much bad history and such a highly-charged negative reaction to Bush’s visit to Central America.

It’s easier to bury “…200 masked students battled 300 riot police with rocks and small homemade explosives…” 200 words into a 300-word article than it is to challenge the present by objectively reviewing the past.

Something has led to the rise of fervent energy in Central America. 

That something is history. 

History happened and now we are where we’re at.

Bush’s visit is only a scapegoat, so the Mayan priests need to get over themselves and quit being crybabies.  If you don’t want Bush to visit your Mayan ruins, then tell him no!  Don’t invite him and dance for him but then act as if he inherently detestable. 

Bush is apparently just reading out of the new U.S. Presidential manual that started with Bill Clinton.

Step One: Get elected president.

Step Two: Ignore Central America; we’ve screwed things up there for a while.  They won’t get anything productive done for at least another decade.

Step Three: Focus on bombing the hell out of the Middle East so they won’t be able to get anything productive done for a while.

Step Four: Get reelected.

Step Five: Visit Central America with a lot of high-minded ideas and rhetoric a year before you leave office.

If I were the Mayans, I’d be a little more pissed about this pattern of being a low priority with both the Democrats and the Republicans.  Essentially, United States’ sentiment toward any other part of the America’s, except Canada, since Clinton has been nothing more than an afterthought to be cajoled into believing high rhetoric and philosophy have accomplished anything in this world except making language so confusing that common people can no longer follow the conversation.

Have a good time with your purified ruins.

8.     Tip of the week 

Clean up after yourself.  If you move something with no particular intent in mind: move it back when you’re done.  If you don’t think when you talk, stop and think after you say something.  If it feels like you may have stepped on someone’s feelings: go back and clean up the mess you made.

If you can’t clean up after yourself, think twice about grabbing in the first place.
 

9.     Birthday Shout Outs (3-4 to 3-10) 

·        (3/4/1944) Mary Wilson- She was the only member of the Supremes to be there in the beginning until the bitter end.

·        (3/4/1948) Chris Squire- The bassist for Yes.  If it doesn’t sound good at first, drop a couple of hits of acid and then put the album back on.

·        (3/4/1963) Jason Newsted- One of three bassists for Metallica as well as the bassist for Flotsam & Jetsam.  He’s not Cliff Burton, but this guy is awesome in concert.

·        (3/4/1966) Kevin Johnson- KJ was the man playing point for the Phoenix Suns.  I’ve seen him dunk on Hakeem Olajawon as well as out jump Hakeem in a jump ball scenario.

·        (3/5/1955) Penn Jillette- There is just something wrong with this guy and it is great entertainment.

·         (3/5/1975) Niki Taylor- One of two people on this list for doing nothing more than filling space.  That’s really all models do after all.

·        (3/6/1475) Michelangelo Buonarroti- This guy may be cooler than the Beatles.  People have certainly been talking about him much longer.

·        (3/6/1906) Lou Costello- He still must be ranked among the funniest men to ever perform in America.

·        (3/6/1936) Marion Barry- He got caught smoking crack and still got reelected as mayor of Washington DC.  That’s an accomplishment!

·        (3/6/1945) Rob Reiner- He went from Meathead to directing the Princess Bride, Stand By Me & Misery.  This guy would’ve made the list for the Princess Bride alone.

·        (3/6/1946) David Gilmour- The guitarist and singer for Pink Floyd.  There should be a shrine erected to him somewhere.

·        (3/8/1938) Charley Pride- How cool do you have to be, to be black and successful in the country music industry pre-1990?

·        (3/8/1945) Micky Dolenz- The Monkees definitely were not as cool as the Beatles, but they carved themselves a respectable niche.

·        (3/8/1959) Aidan Quinn- I don’t know why, but the movie Reckless inexplicably seemed like a good movie.

·        (3/8/1963) Kathy Ireland- The second of two people on this list for doing nothing more than filling space.  That’s really all models do after all.

·        (3/9/1451) Amerigo Vespucci- I can’t say much for what followed him, but climbing into a boat and sailing into the unknown takes a lot of guts.

·        (3/9/1959) Nikita Koloff- He was around when the NWA started to really become great.

·        (3/9/1961) Rick Steiner- One of two men to be in the greatest tag team of all time.  The Steiner Brothers, hands down, were the greatest tag team in their prime.

·        (3/10/1947) Tom Scholz- He played guitar for rock group Boston.

·        (3/10/1963) Jeff Ament- Bassist and founding member of Pearl Jam.  If you don’t have this album, you owe it to yourself to go buy it right now.