Taboo Plaza

We need to establish a culture of moderation and of setting a good example in the executive ranks of our companies.

Germany's Finance Minister made this statement regarding executive severance packages in Germany.  See apparently the Germans aren't use to corporate executives getting ridiculously large sums of money to leave companies that they screwed up (or in some cases, I guess they help companies succeed and then decide to retire.)

In the United States this kind of stuff barely makes the news.  Take for instance Gary Forsee.  The guy ran Sprint and Nextel into the ground.  He had perfect opportunities to make the most of two companies that really could've benefited from the philosophy of the other.  He took these two floundering companies and made them garbage.

In fact, he took a $20.00 stock and helped turn it into less than a $9.00 stock.  That's quite the accomplishment.  In America, we award a CEO like that $55 million.  $55 million to simply leave the company and not look back.  The company will search for someone else to turn it around, but please take your $55 million and just leave.

Not only is that how we treat a failing CEO in America, but apparently we award that failing CEO with another lucrative position.  Much like the lucrative position Gary Forsee landed at the University of Missouri.  $55 million to walk away clean from a Fortune 50 company in ruins and the opportunity to find a brand new gig before the severance package even has an opportunity to start building interest.

What the fuck is wrong with the Germans?

They're more concerned with the spirit of the Volk (German Citizens.)  While we Americans get it.  We only utilize patriotic spirit when we want to go overseas and kill a shitload of people.  Why talk about being brothers and sisters in times of peace?  That's for pussies. 

Or Germans.

Those goddamn Germans. 

Personally, I really hope they can get somewhere with taxing the fuck out of their executives, because when I look at how our executives in America are treated I want to stick a gun in my mouth. 
 
$55 million to fuck a company up.

Honestly, if I entered a company knowing I could make that kind of scratch whether I succeeded or failed- what's the incentive to succeed?  I'd sign the contract and go to bed.  'Wake me up when you want to pay me to leave, so I can go back to sleep.'

Sometimes I'm disgusted to be an American, but then I remember that- in theory- this can all be turned around with the right intent and the right frame of mind.

7 Deadly Sins

Pride.

Why not start out with the most deadly of the sins?
Pride is the reason for the fall of Lucifer.
If you believe.

Pride is the reason that I hate some people.
To quote Brad Pitt in "True Romance,"
"Condescend to me man. 
I'll fucking kill ya."

Pride will drop a man to his knees
and make the world hate him.
Pride is the sin of the rich
and truly fucked up.

The word came from Latin.
Like that's a surprise.
The Seven Deadly Sins came from Latin as well.
However, in Latin pride meant 'useful.'

Is it 'useful' that I think
the people who made my job difficult
pointing out my shortcomings
while they fucked up their work-
pointed out my team's shortcomings
while their team performed jacked up-
lose their jobs
and I feel like
fuck 'em?

Is that useful?

Some of their team members were okay.
Some of them are even good people.
But fuck 'em.
It's cut throat now.

The company's making cuts
and the economy sucks.
Somebody's gotta go.
It ain't gonna be me,
If I've got anything to say about it.

It's not like my team didn't succeed.
We overcame.
Like Martin Luther King Jr-
no matter what Hillary may say.
We shall overcome.
I led them to the mountaintop.
I helped them see the other side.

Is that proud?

Is it 'useful?'

You find yourself in a place
from time to time
that speaks to you deep in your heart
about a sense of justice.

You bust your ass
then take the scat.
How does it feel
to have that scat run down your throat?

That's just gross-
not to speak of unsanitary-
and I won't do it!
Not for me
and not for my team!

I'm not a whipping boy!

To quote Cypress Hill,
"Smack me and I'll smack you back."

Oh yeah,
it's on.
This ain't a game.
Life.
Keep your chin up
and either get sucker punched in the throat
or feel good about yourself.

I'm not trying to get you to burn in hell.
I just need to know
is it wrong?

Is it 'useful?'

Can it be 'useful?'

That feeling of fuck 'em.
I did what I was supposed to do.
I was good to my people.

What about them?
They didn't.
They complained.
They pointed at me,
but I did my job
me and my team.

Did they?

Am I proud to say
we succeeded together
I owe it to my team
and as for all the rest,
fuck 'em?

Current Affairs

The U.S. economy sucks and the government is talking about giving everyone $800 to stimulate the economy.  Don't get me wrong here, I would like the $800, but I feel like a whore having said that.

The moral to the story is start preparing (and dreaming) for a day when the government doesn't depend on you to spend your money to keep rich people rich.  Do you really think that a recession just effects poor people?  The fact of the matter is that poor people feel it first, because poor people in the U.S. like to live like their rich. 

Stop living beyond your means and you will be fine.
All you need is a roof over head, something to eat and wear. 
You'll be fine.
Most rich people live paycheck to paycheck- just like you and I.
The only difference is that their paychecks are bigger than yours; therefore, they can take a recession just a little bit longer.

United States of America President George W. Bush wrapped up his 8-day tour of the Middle East Wednesday of last week with a 3-hour layover in Egypt. 

Many people have noted that the short amount of time focused on Egypt portends a changed strategy and focus in the Middle East that seemingly destabilizes former notions of progress in that region.   Others have linked Bush's short visit to Egypt with series of computations; such as, the ratio of 3 hours spent in Egypt compared to the 2 days spent in Saudi Arabia or Bush thanking Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak six times and using the word appreciate 10 times or even referencing Egypt as the 1st Arab state to work out peace with Israel.

It would seem that Bush's entire trip to the Middle East didn't accomplish much more than campaigning against Iran, campaigning for peace between Israel and Palestine and selling a hundred billion dollars worth of U.S. arms to Saudi Arabia.

Just out of curiosity, who makes the commission on a sale that large?

The arms deal Bush has promised to the Saudis is not without its own controversy.  (Does anyone remember the fact that we sold Iraq the weapons systems they didn't use to try to keep us from invading them?  I'm not saying Saudi Arabia will destine itself to the same fate, but I'm sure we didn't think we'd be fighting Iraq in the future when we sold them their weapons systems back in the day.)  The planned arms sale has angered not only some members of the U.S. Congress, but also Israelis who now need assurances that the U.S. will sell them smarter bombs than the ones we sold the Saudis.

Apparently, death is our business.  Or more broadly stated, death and confusion.  One reporter noted,

"In the 1980s, when the Reagan administration was supporting Saddam Hussein's invasion of Iran, Washington spent its time warning Gulf leaders of the danger of Iranian aggression. Once Saddam invaded Kuwait, America's emphasis changed: It was now Iraq which posed the greatest danger to their kingdoms. But once the emirate was liberated, the oil-wealthy monarchs were told that – yet again – it was Iran that was their enemy."

Strap yourselves in folks.  The Middle East isn't going anywhere peaceful due to U.S. "help" any time soon with these strategies.

The nomination process for President of the United States of America continuedlast week with stops in Michigan, Nevada and South Carolina.  The results are mixed.Tuesday, January 15th, Mitt Romney won the Michigan primary decisively.  Romney had 39% of the early counted votes in Michigan compared to 30% for John McCain and 16% for Mike Huckabee.  On the Democratic side, Michigan was a bit of a wash with regard to the primary because the state had moved up its primary despite a withdrawal of support from the Democratic National Committee.  Therefore, Hillary Clinton, Dennis Kucinich, Mike Gravel and "Uncommitted" ran on the ticket for Michigan Democrats.

On Saturday, January 19th, in South Carolina's Republican primary, John McCain had a strong showing edging out Mike Huckabee 33% to 30%.  Mitt Romney, on the other hand, skipped campaigning in South Carolina to spend most of his timecampaigning in the Mormon-heavy state of Nevada, where he won a decisive 52% of the vote with Ron Paul and John McCain trailing him with about 12% of the vote a piece in that state's caucus.

On the Democrat side of the contest in Nevada, Hillary Clinton pulled in 51% of the caucus voters compared to 45% for Barak Obama and 4% for John Edwards. 

However, with the confusion that always follows the  "democratic" process in the United States of America; Barak Obama may have actually won more delegates than Hillary Clinton in Nevada despite her pulling in more of the popular vote. 

Obama's campaign declared a victory by edging out Clinton 13 delegates to her 12 delegates won.  With this logic in mind, Mitt Romney declared, This is a race to get delegates, to get above the magic number that gets you the nomination.

That is a story that Al Gore knows only too well.





Tip of the Week

Engage yourself at least once a week in something that makes you think about more than just yourself and those around you.

Birthday Shout Outs (January 13th through 26th)

1/13
(1931) Charles Nelson Reilly- Sure the guy was a flaming fruit, but I like him.  I don't know why.  What did he ever do other than Match Game?  What the hell was the criterion for ending up on that show in the first place?

1/14
(1968) LL Cool J- The brother's just bad and the honeys think he's fly as hell.
(1969) David Grohl- He was in Nirvana AND the lead man for Foo Fighters.

1/15
(1909) Gene Krupa- He could play the drums.

(1929) Martin Luther King Jr.- He's the man that made me go back a week to make sure he gets a mention in this column.  He's inspirational in both his speech as well as his demonstration that all humans are of the flesh and weak but capable of so much good.

(1948) Ronnie Van Zant- Skynyrd man!



1/16
(1948) John Carpenter- Are you kidding me?  "Halloween," "Escape From New York," "Christine," "Big Trouble in Little China" and "They Live" are all great movies and he directed them all.  We should consider declaring his birthday a national holiday.

1/17
(1942) Muhammed Ali- He beat out Jim Carrey, Ben Franklin and James Earle Jones to make this list (all sharing the same birthday.)  It's pretty time consuming to put this stuff together, so only the best make the list.

1/18
Ted DiBiase- He's the Million Dollar Man baby!  He pissed people off so that they would watch more wrestling.  That's impressive.

1/19
(1943) Janis Joplin- Cry, cry baby.
(1946) Dolly Parton- I still think she did the best version of "I Will Always Love You."



1/20
Paul Stanley- It's a hell of a thing to get the world to think you're a great musician when all you've really got is a great gimmick.

1/21
(1925) Benny Hill- He made being a dirty old man cool.

1/22
(1954) Tully Blanchard- This guy was quite possibly the biggest prick in wrestling, but he was a Horseman and that is as cool as the Beatles.

1/23
(1737) John Hancock- He's got your signature named after him.  How do you work that gig out?

1/24
(1949) John Belushi- He had the eyebrow working for him.
(1965) Mike Awesome- This guy had the look and the feel of a champion in ECW.  It's really too bad he jumped to WCW.

1/25
(1981) Alicia Keys- She's got a beautiful voice.

1/26
(1929) Gordon Solie- One of the best announcers in pro wrestling history hands down.
(1955) Eddie Van Halen- He seems really arrogant which would normally exclude him from this list, but there are a lot of great tunes listed in his credits.
(1960) Charlie Gillingham- "Round Here" makes me want to cry everytime I hear it.  What better compliment can there be for a piece of art?

Belly Laugh

With the writer's strike continuing and no new material appearing on television, funnyordie.com continues to deliver the funny.  Just be warned that Nick Swardson and David Spade work filthy in this bit. 
Still, it's pretty funny.