Is it okay to get a cat stoned if it suffers from glaucoma?

MSNBC reports: Acea Schomaker, a 20-year old in Nebraska, recently had police officers charge him with animal cruelty for getting his cat stoned.  At least that seems to be the primary reason Acea faces animal cruelty charges. 



You see, Schomaker made a water pipe out of a box.  The box was large enough to stuff a kitten into the chamber where the smoke accumulates (I'm not sure how this works with water, but that simply speaks to the creativity and dedication of a stoner trying to fashion a bong out of a household object.)


"Meow" and squiggly lines added I'm sure.

Apparently, the cat goes in.  Acea takes a couple of puffs.  The cat gets high.  Acea gets high.  And kitty is mellow.  At least that's what Acea is telling the police, but now Acea is facing animal cruelty charges.  I'm dumbfounded as to why. 

Is it because the box is so small and it's cruel to put an animal in there? 
That could be a legitimate argument.  Some people are claustrophobic and it's not cool to make such a person get into a confined space.  Such an act could be considered cruel depending on how much anxiety the tight space produced  in the claustrophobe.

Is it because the box fills with smoke and the animal is inside? 
That could be cruel, but I bet Acea would be willing to climb into that box if he could.  He'd probably even let his friends pull hits off of the box bong with him in it.  Therefore, cruel is (in this sense) defined by the entity in the box.  If the cat really didn't like being in the box, Acea would only get one or two attempts to get the cat in the box before he'd give up on ever trying it again.  It's important to remember here that cats generally love catnip and they look high when their "playing" with that drug.

It seems people think this practice is cruel because the cat is getting high off of marijuana; however, WSFA News in Montgomery, AL has jokes about this story. 

"[D]eputies who eventually arrested the man weren't initially called to the scene to rescue the imprisoned furball turned furbong.  If it hadn't been for a domestic disturbance call to the residence Shadow probably would've been higher than any tree she could've ever imagined climbing.  And if you're smart enough to figure out how to get a cat into a shoebox-sized bong (Have you ever tried getting a cat into anything? It's not easy.) you need to think of a creative reason for actually doing it."

I can't imagine they would've been making the same jokes if Acea was injecting the cat with PCP or heroin.  The story is not funny under those circumstances, but everyone (I guess) probably knows someone who has done something like this.  Acea's type is like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon with everyone in America. 

Within six people, of people you know, there's someone like Acea getting their pet stoned.

The story is kind of funny with the cat getting stoned.  The story's not as funny if someone is amping their cat out on crystal meth or putting LSD in their cat's water bowl.  That's a whole different trip, but marijuana is just pot. 

It's like getting an animal drunk. 



It was funny in the 1983 movie "Strange Brew" and it's still funny today.  I mean really, what's the serious argument against getting a cat stoned?



Is the cat going to make an ass of itself at a party and embarrass its friends or itself?  Is the cat not going to live up to its true potential?  Is the cat going to be lazy and unproductive? 

Cat's don't need weed to be lazy and unproductive- they do that for a living!

Acea should be embarrassed he got caught.  You may find the situation unfortunate; however, to label such things "animal cruelty" seems to make light of the statement "animal cruelty." 

Getting your cat stoned is not like systematically killing a hundred cows a day for food.  Getting your cat stoned is nothing like tossing a live animal into a boiling pot of water and hearing it scream.  Getting your cat stoned isn't even similar to dousing a cat in gasoline and setting it on fire.

If getting a cat stoned is animal cruelty: How does the argument change if the cat has glaucoma or AIDS? 

Is it okay to get a cat stoned if it suffers from glaucoma?

Posted by Wyll D Sarge at 3/8/2009 12:06 PM
Categories: Taboo Plaza, Down On Rage Street
Tags: Acea Schomaker Cat Bong
 

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